Dear James,

Every time I hear these I think of you. I miss the connection we had in such a short time. I hate thinking of where you are now. I What If I am wrong...What if the reason you pushed me away is not what I think. What if it was all a game...Even if it was I needed it at the time. So I thank you with these memories. I thank you for singing this to me across a phoneline to the ridicule of your cell mates. I thank you for the calls that helped me keep my sanity while helping you keep yours.I thank you for the nights I felt safe with you. I thank you for the nights I watched over you as you slept.I even thank you for the times I ached to touch you and the closest I could get was the glass between our hands. I think of you often..I pray you are as safe as you can be.I also pray that you have someone to write you and talk to you. I wish I was not a coward and would write. Thank You for making me feel sane in an insane world..Thank You for trying ,Thank you for listening and most of all thank you for these memories.

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I remember driving around listening to this while you held my hand and sang. It was like we were the only people in the crazy world that mattered.

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~nod~ It is important to me. I makes me happy to know that people are proud of me that I have touched them in someway. Thank you for the compliment. I dont see it in my self yet but i will eventually. I know i will succeed, not only because i want to but because i have to. If I fail now or give up I might as well crawl into my grave now because ill give up or fail the rest of my life. So Failure is not an option. I have the mental and physically strength to succeed. Now i just have to do it.

I can weave a webbing that will shield you from most. I can keep you safe and close like that. Its why im a Black Widow. With that being said, my webs are deadly, its there for you until you break it. Then im a widow maker. Its simple really.
It is in the gods hands but also within our own. For i am a god as you a goddess. I will remember where i came from so i can continue forward. I will never forget for it made me what and who i am. It will help forge and push me forward. I trust in me and my ablities. My power is unfathomable and ever growing. I trust in my insticts for they guide me through what i dont or cant precieve. Power calls to power much the same as blood singing to blood. I am called to others much as they are drawn to me for that fact. I call may friends, but it takes alot to be family. You are apart of my family. Blessing on you and your offspring. I will my self to protect you them and your house where ever it may travel.
So It has been written, so it has been said, so it shall be done.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Lisa
Date: Nov 18, 2007 10:58 PM


I know this is probably not that important. Yet I want you to know.I am proud of you and I am proud to have known you.You speak of being a young adult instead of being a Man. Know this You are more of a Man than some people I have met twice your age.You will succeed!

I have known you before and I will know you again.
perhaps we will be shield brothers again shrug That is in the Gods hands.Know this You are stronger than I think you realize.But as we have never spoken of that I will leave you with this.
Never forget to look ahead as well as behind you.Trust yourself and your instincts remember Power calls to Power and to be clear on your intent.
I consider few people a friend..Let all know that I call you friend.
Blessings apon You and your House
Aya, Aas it is spoken so shall it be!
Lisa

----------------- Bulletin Message -----------------
From: Searan~Crimson Dragonfly~
Date: 18 Nov 2007, 22:27


Ima Miss all of you. If i havent told you or said anything I am sorry.
I will miss you all teribly so. I will be back in 6 months. But this is a permant thing. I am essentially moving out tomorrow and coming home to visit. Ive had good times with alot of you. I wish you all luck in your lifes. Im not asking for it in return becuase I know where I am heading and what is ahead of me. My plans are falling into place now and I am at rest, content and at peace with it all. I am leaving a young adult. More so leaving a child. I will be returning though a man, an adult, a soldier. I will see you all, or most of you in 6 months. I am thankful for each and everyone of you. Most of you wont read this and I am fine with that. Most will be sad about it. But I want you all to rejoyce and know that I have started my life now. I am becoming an adult. I want you all to be happy that you are my friends and have helped me in some small or large way. Regardless of how or so on. I am proud that i have each and everyone of you

Questioning
by
Moyra

As I look upon the rising sun
It’s fingers pushing past the clouds
I feel it’s light blessing my life
Chasing the shadows away.
How could I have been so blind?
Why did I refuse to see?

In the hollows of my heart
I have loved more than one before
But always I have made the choice
To always leave one behind.
Why did I not see the hunger in my soul?
Why did I refuse to believe?

When I met my love,
To him I said I would be true
I swore that he would be my only
And for awhile I could believe it.
What was I thinking?
Why did I refuse my nature?

For years we were content
Working side by side
Together we started a family
And yet darkness crept inside.
Where had it come from?
Why did I refuse to notice?

I knew my needs were not fulfilled
My heart hungered for more
My soul called out
But my Love did not hear.
How could it hurt so?
Why did he refuse to care?

Then I knew he did not see
The stress of life had blinded him
My hungers went unfulfilled
My life felt empty and in need.
How could I change this?
Why did I refuse to leave?

I knew not how to fill the emptiness
My anger and resentment grew
Until my Love he saw the pain
And wondered what he could do.
Why did it take so long?
Why did I refuse to say?

Together we talked all night
Trying to find an answer to these questions
As I told him what was in my heart
He knew the answer to our troubles
Why didn’t I trust him before?
Why did I refuse to believe in him?

Together we chose a Lover for me
Someone to care for my heart
To tend the garden of my soul
And the emptiness was filled.
Why didn’t we do this before?
Why did I refuse to be me?

Now my questions have been answered
And the light of dawn is no longer feared
My heart is full, my soul at ease
All for the love of two good men
I have been true to my nature
And true me, and true to the ones I love.

--Moyra

© Copyright 1999 Moyra

~

I am - yet what I am, none cares or knows:
My friends forsake me like a memory lost:
I am the self-consumer of my woes --
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shadows in love's frenzied stifled throes
And yet I am, and live-like vapours tost

Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life's esteem:
Even the dearest that I love the best
Are strange-nay, rather, stranger than the rest.

I long for scenes where man hath never trod
A place where woman never smiled or wept
there to abide with my creator God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie
The grass below, above, the vaulted sky.

- John Clare

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 87% on True Poly

You scored higher than 60% on Tolerance

You scored higher than 12% on Sex Only

You scored higher than 22% on Honesty